I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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