woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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