so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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