Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize