the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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