dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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