We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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