look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
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Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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