pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shitshow foam night was such a success
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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