i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize