cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize