Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
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