ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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