I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
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Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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