I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize