At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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