did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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