I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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