I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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