tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize