Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me

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  (615): I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me http://tfl.nu/hl8u
  Replies (3) Good night (610) Bad night (1204) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  oh that explains alot.

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  (702): you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up? (1-702): oh that explains alot. http://tfl.nu/a8xe
  Replies (13) Good night (932) Bad night (4023) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed

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  (303): I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed http://tfl.nu/1p3v
  Replies (24) Good night (735) Bad night (5632) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.

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  (612): This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me. http://tfl.nu/1k6h
  Replies (19) Good night (1079) Bad night (3318) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.

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  (260): I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops. http://tfl.nu/sp9a
  Replies (10) Good night (5720) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.

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  (818): I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me. http://tfl.nu/gx3h
  Replies (4) Good night (895) Bad night (2016) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.

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  (360): I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised. http://tfl.nu/zjt1
  Replies (6) Good night (2222) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment

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  (201): There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment http://tfl.nu/jnnd
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (1326) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors

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  (928): proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors http://tfl.nu/6slk
  Replies (2) Good night (1543) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"

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  (907): We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass" http://tfl.nu/blwo
  Replies (9) Good night (458) Bad night (2081) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.

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  (304): Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low. http://tfl.nu/whd6
  Replies (6) Good night (699) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.

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  (704): he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears. http://tfl.nu/5pre
  Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...

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  (831): Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone... http://tfl.nu/6t56
  Replies (2) Good night (816) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was like giving head to a cactus.

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  (412): It was like giving head to a cactus. http://tfl.nu/0gn3
  Replies (14) Good night (382) Bad night (1811) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.

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  (320): Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/lfii
  Replies (3) Good night (1226) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt

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