Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(585): View more from New York

I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(585): I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me. http://tfl.nu/00st

Replies (27) Good night (4646) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(251): View more from Alabama

the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(251): the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville. http://tfl.nu/cwli

Replies (37) Good night (1088) Bad night (4953) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations. http://tfl.nu/znj0

Replies (19) Good night (5802) Bad night (811)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool

(252): View more from North Carolina

Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool (252): Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five http://tfl.nu/6bci

Replies (13) Good night (6131) Bad night (791)
Favorite
(712): View more from Iowa

i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(712): i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat. http://tfl.nu/sn6a

Replies (5) Good night (3654) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl" http://tfl.nu/cqzd

Replies (12) Good night (2343) Bad night (1093) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy. http://tfl.nu/ck7x

Replies (18) Good night (1230) Bad night (2429) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+66): View more from Thailand

Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+66): Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees. http://tfl.nu/3h4e

Replies (10) Good night (2112) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(207): View more from Maine

I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(207): I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup http://tfl.nu/gqz1

Replies (20) Good night (1475) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

Bad breakup?

(1-410): View more from Maryland

He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): Bad breakup? (1-410): He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB. http://tfl.nu/4dsn

Replies (54) Good night (1167) Bad night (6103)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together.. http://tfl.nu/x2kk

Replies (3) Good night (1322) Bad night (363)
Favorite
(707): View more from California

because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie. http://tfl.nu/erv7

Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(515): View more from Iowa

she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(515): she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex http://tfl.nu/uys9

Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours. http://tfl.nu/179p

Replies (8) Good night (361) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...? http://tfl.nu/6jqe

Replies (1) Good night (184) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: