Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize