Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just pee around me
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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