don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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