Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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