I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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