I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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