i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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