drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
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So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
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Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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