No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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