Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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