her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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