i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize