if you like me you must not know who I am
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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