I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
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I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize