mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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