they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize