the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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