it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize