Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
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You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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