Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Drunk is not a location!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize