smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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