They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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