even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize