Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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