I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
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I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
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We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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