he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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