My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
my poor anus
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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