I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize